When you say that a child is USING you as a pacifier, you’re making a moral argument against a child which is untenable because they are too young to have a MORAL motive.
Kohlberg says the basis of ethical behaviour begins to develop around the age of 5 years. Piaget’s theory argues that moral relativism doesn’t come through before the age of 9-10 years.
Babies that we repeatedly call out as USING us as a pacifier are nowhere near that age. Even if they have the development of Doogie Howser MD or Einstein.
When we remove the discussion of morality the only two things left behind are
Nourishment and Comfort
Providing both of which is the baseline motive of breastfeeding.
If we’re not trying to nourish or comfort our child by breastfeeding what even are we doing?
When along the line were, we convinced that comforting our babies is not a good thing? Ask a psychologist. Most of their clientele have issues stemming from attachment issues through formative years.
BABIES ARE NOT CONVENIENT
Babies are not MEANT to be convenient or understanding of our routines and responsibilities.
They don’t adapt to our needs. WE adapt to their needs. At least for the first few months of age.
We move around and baby proof our lives to make a safe space for them. They do not accommodate us. That’s not how it works.
Yes. The first few months are tough as nails. I often joke that the memory of the first 3-4 months with a baby is the best birth control I can have.
No, it still does not allow us to push moral judgement on a small child who is seeking the comfort he needs to settle into this bright, loud, stimulating world.
To yourself by not demeaning yourself so much so that you’re comparing yourself to a plastic dummy.
To your child by not accusing them of a moral perspective that they’re not even capable to hold.
Think before you speak. Love yourself and your babies. Don’t get sucked into the narratives we are fed or the language that diminishes us, the feminine. It’s usually garbage.